Tell us a little about yourself and your family.
My name is Nicola Caroline Viljoen. I’m 29 years old, a teacher, and married to Andries Viljoen. I originally come from Upington where my family use to farm with sheep and goats but unfortunately my farther passed away from liver cancer 3 years ago and now my sister and mom live in Stellenbosch and I have 4 older brothers.
Andries and I got married in March this year, so we’re still newlyweds and building our life together. Family is incredibly important to both of us. Andries comes from a farming background in Robertson, so between farming, rugby and my career as a teacher, life can definitely get busy! But we’ve learned that marriage is really about being a team and supporting each other through the different seasons of life.
What has it been like being married to a rugby captain?
It’s something I’m incredibly proud of. Being a captain comes with much more responsibility than people realise. It’s not only about what happens during those 80 minutes on a Saturday. There is training, preparation, pressure and the responsibility of leading an entire group of men.
As his wife, you experience the highs and lows with him. When the team wins, you celebrate with him, and when things don’t go according to plan, you’re also the person beside him afterwards. I’ve learned that sometimes supporting him means encouraging him, and other times it simply means being there and allowing him to switch off from rugby for a while.
People often see the captain on the field, but what don’t they see behind the scenes?
They don’t always see the pressure that comes with leadership. People see the confidence, the captain making decisions and leading the team, but they don’t necessarily see the preparation, the physical exhaustion or how much responsibility he carries. The driving from Robertson to Villagers twice a week can also get exhausting, but he will never show it, and I admire him for being so dedicated!
They also don’t see the support system behind every player. Behind the scenes there are wives, girlfriends, mothers and families arranging their weekends around games, listening after difficult matches, celebrating the good ones and continuing to believe in them when they are disappointed in themselves.
Leadership doesn’t start and end when he walks onto the field.
What sacrifices have you and your family made to support his rugby journey?
Rugby becomes part of your family’s schedule. Weekends, social plans and time together often have to work around practices and matches. Sometimes you have to accept that rugby needs to take priority in that particular season, which can be very hard sometimes.
For me, the biggest sacrifice is probably time. When life is already busy with my teaching career and Andries’s work on the farm, adding rugby means that the time we have together becomes even more valuable.
But I also don’t see supporting him purely as a sacrifice. When you love someone and you know something is important to them, you want to see them succeed. I know how much rugby means to Andries, so being beside him during this journey is something I’m proud to do.
How do you balance family life with the demands of rugby season?
Being newly married means we’re learning how to balance our careers, family, rugby and our marriage at the same time.
I think the biggest thing is making the time we do have together count. During rugby season you have to understand that there will be busy weeks and weekends, but your relationship still needs attention and you need to make time and prioritise it!
It’s about supporting his goals without losing sight of our life together. We both have dreams and responsibilities outside of rugby, and we have to keep choosing to support each other in those too. And in these 3 years of watching Andries play rugby I have seen how the rugby and responsibility of being a captain has shaped him into a better person and how much he has grown in himself.
Have there been moments where rugby has tested your relationship? How did you overcome them?
Definitely. I think any sport that requires this much time, commitment and emotion can put pressure on a relationship.
There are times when you’re tired, when schedules clash or when the emotions of a difficult game come home with you. We’ve had to learn not to allow one difficult moment or one bad rugby day to become bigger than our relationship.
Communication has been very important. We don’t always get it right, but we keep learning each other. Marriage itself teaches you that you’re on the same team, even on the days when it doesn’t necessarily feel that way.
What has been your proudest moment watching him lead Villager?
For me, it isn’t necessarily only one match or one victory. I’m proud when I see the way Andries takes responsibility for the people around him. His caring nature is something I look up to and he always looks tough and some will say scary on the field but inside he is very soft and has a heart of gold!
Watching your husband walk onto a rugby field as captain is a very special feeling because you know the person underneath that jersey. You know the work, pressure and commitment that happened before everyone else saw him on that field.
Seeing him lead Villagers and watching the players trust and follow him makes me incredibly proud. Of course I want to see him succeed as a rugby player, but I’m even more proud of seeing him grow as a leader and as my husband.
Finally, if you could send one message to all the rugby wives, girlfriends and mothers who quietly support the game every weekend, what would it be?
Never underestimate the role you play.
You might not be the one running onto the field on Saturday, but you are part of the journey. You’re there through the injuries, disappointments, late practices, celebrations and everything in between.
Sometimes supporting someone else’s dream requires sacrifices that nobody applauds or even notices. But your support matters more than you realise.
So to every wife, girlfriend, mother and family member standing next to a rugby field every weekend: be proud of them, but also be proud of yourself.
There is almost always someone behind the player who helped him keep going.
And behind every strong captain, there is usually a very strong support system too.